Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
