can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
