That's intense
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
