Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
