I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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