Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
