i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
