Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think your dad took our porno
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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