I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
