You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
