all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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