also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
