And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
