you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
