is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
