I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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