I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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