I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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