Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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