There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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