Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
