So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
tell me about the fingering
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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