Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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