I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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