I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i out mim tonsoeep
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