Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
