youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
