just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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