I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
