I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
