don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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