yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
