...so i touched it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
