she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
