so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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