I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
