it wasn't lemon gatorade
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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