so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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