If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
