I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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