UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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