Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
