She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
