Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
