Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
