I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
