some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
