The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
