We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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