Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
