I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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