The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
