she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
