i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
